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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24504340">Maybe I am gay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twotowedsloth/pseuds/Twotowedsloth'>Twotowedsloth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Trailer Park Boys, ricky/julian - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Denial, Gay, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Porn With Plot, Slow Build, Smut, Trailer Park Boys - Freeform, first fanfic, light fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:14:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,597</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24504340</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twotowedsloth/pseuds/Twotowedsloth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Slow build basically a whole lotta build up the boys don't wanna face their sexuality but a near death experience make it harder for them too keep it to themselves, it's to small of a fandom so I thought it was my responsibility to add something.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Julian/Ricky (Trailer Park Boys)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have never been good at punctuation so deal with the lack of periods</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Setting: Lucy talking to the camera</p><p>"-now don't get me wrong he is great in bed, like I mean really great. He is always trying to please you and his size, but he needs to be more present in mine and trinitys life y'know he's just always in jail or high somewhere and I gotta break up with him, and for good this time I have been hanging around with a cop and he has his shit together"</p><p>**</p><p>Ricky was sitting on the hood of his car smoking a joint (which is what he usually does when the camera dicks aren't around) when Lucy came up to him "Ricky we got to talk" </p><p>"Ok what is there to talk about, you banging George green" Ricky said almost sarcastically.</p><p>"Well I think we should break up he has his life together"</p><p>"Well wait a second, your fucking leaving me for that stupid cop dick, I can grow some weed and pay your lot fees if that's what you need"</p><p>"No I'm not doing this again just stop ok," Lucy said then left befor Ricky could say anything.</p><p>That night Ricky slept in his car which was very cold and lonely that particular night and in a strange way he was kind of glad Lucy dumped him though he wasn't the smartest some people forget that he is a person underneath all the arrogance and stupidity and he hated how alone he felt </p><p>**</p><p>It was nearing the end of the day, Ricky had gotten so high to try and get his mind off of losing The mother of his daughter because that meant Trinity was leaving with her.</p><p>Ricky was looking for a place to crash 'cause he didn't want to spend another night in his car, he was gonna drop at Rays place but he was drunk and he didn't like to deal with his father drunk so he decided to crash at Julian's trailer.</p><p>*knock knock*<br/>Julian Ricky knocks louder Jules?<br/>Wake u- Julian opens the door hair scuffled up and glass with nothing but melted ice in it "what do you want it's two in the morning?" Julian said annoyed </p><p>"Can I just crash at your place man, Lucy broke up with me and I need somewhere to stay"</p><p>"Why can't you just sleep in the car that's what I have it to you you for"</p><p>"C'mon please Jules its cold and rays drunk and, it's pretty fucking alonely" Julian tried to close the door but Succumb to rick, how could he not?</p><p>"Fuck!-ok fine you can come but only for a couple of nights, ok and you owe me" Julian said hesitantly.</p><p>"Thanks Julian I'll only stay a couple weeks"</p><p>"That's not what i said" Julian announced </p><p>"You got any extra blankets?"</p><p>"Ya whatever" Julian grabbed Ricky a blanket </p><p>"Thanks love ya bud" Ricky said while giving Julian a quick guy hug.</p><p>"Love you to bud" Julian replied, they held eye contact for longer than usual, it wasn't awkward but it was like they were having a complete conversation, until it was broken by Julian walking out of the room in confusion, did he show more than he wanted to?</p><p>Ricky was lying there trying to figure out what just happened until he finally fell asleep</p><p>**</p><p>They were woken up by bubbles banging on the trailer door calling for Julian so Julian came to the door "so I see your just waking up boys it's almost 4"</p><p>"Oh shit it is" Ricky said carelessly </p><p>"Anyway I need your guys help one of my kitties are sick so I need to haul extra carts to pay for paul McCatneys vet and meds can you guys come haul carts with me"</p><p>"Sure bubs we'll be out there in a minute"</p><p>Later while they were hauling carts they ran into j roc who invited them to a party that was happening later.</p><p>**</p><p>Ricky and Julian were getting fucked up at the party but then fucked off and were hanging in a quieter area smoking weed "man it seems like I'm always fucking up and you are always there to fix shit"<br/>Ricky said stumbling over his words, "I love you man you are my best friend" Ricky looks back into the taller mans eyes the same way he did the night prior.</p><p>"Let's get you to the trailer before you say something you regret" Julian helped Ricky into his trailer and sat him on the couch next to him and tried to find something on the tv and right as he was gonna give up and get some sleep Ricky had passed out on Julian.</p><p>Julian sat there feeling ricks hair on his shoulders staring at the younger face his hair sideburns, his lips. Julian got up walked out of the room and took one more good look at his friend before going to sleep.</p><p>**</p><p>Later the next day Ricky went to the store (Julian gave him a ride) and as perusal tried to steal it he pulled a gun but before he could do anything the cashier grabbed his gun and Ricky was laying on the ground, he could see the lights from the store and felt very warm, Julian came over he was being weirdly panicked and that wasn't like him  Ricky wasn't sure he believed his eyes as a single tear fell from Julian's face, thats when panic really started to sink in, red and blue filled what little vision he had left, last thing he remembered was Julian telling him it will be ok.</p><p>**</p><p>Julian sat in that bedside chair every day almost all day, bubbles visited as much as he could.</p><p>"The bullet entered the rib cage breaking two ribs and was a little less than an inch from the lungs, your friend is very lucky to survive, we will have a surgery to remove the bullet because it may damage the lung after time" the nurse said to Julian who wasn't sure to be mad or happy for Ricky.</p><p>"How dangerous is the surgery?"</p><p>"It is not ideal to be working this close to the lung but we can assure you that Ricky will be taken best care of here"</p><p>"Thanks" Julian said to the nurse waiting for her to leave. </p><p>Julian looked dead at Ricky's face so incredibly mad "you fucked up big time and there is nothing I can do to fix it this time"</p><p>Then he went on and continued talking to his unconscious friend "honestly man I really care about you and I would never actually say this to you if you were awake but I think I love you man, just make it out of this alive ok?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm going to write this in small chapters cause I am a slow writing and I suck a adding that detail that makes the story *chefs kiss*so deal with it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julian took a long look at his helpless friend before reaching into an old grocery bag, he pulled out a comb, shut the door and placed his hand gently on his friends forehead before he brought the comb through ricks scruffy and light hair, he tried to style it the way Ricky always did, "sorry I don't have any cooking spray" Julian said, he left a half assed laughs at the end before plunging into a painful sadness but because he was who he was he didn't show it.</p><p>as Julian put the comb down he heard the door creek and in walked bubbles holding some pepperoni, he handed Julian a coloured water bottle full of rum and glanced at Ricky, "any new news" bubbles said breaking the silence.</p><p>"Ya the nurse said he would be going into surgery tomorrow, he has about a fifty fifty chance of making it" Julian said, though it was hard to admit it to bubbles as well as himself.</p><p>"Ricky has gotta make it cause he always does" bubbles said hopefully.</p><p>"Julian you gotta get back to the park I'm all alone except for my kitty's, barb is on my back about the lot fees, I'm haul triple the carts" bubbles said adding that hyper ventilating thing he does then starts crying "see look at me I'm just one googely eyed bastard"</p><p>"Calm down bubbles, I'll come down during the surgery and have a couple drinks, it should take 8-10 hours" Julian said trying to calm down bubbles. </p><p>"Can we watch movies in the shed, Ricky and I used to do that"</p><p>"Sure" Julian said, he would do anything so that bubbles didn't get too worried, he knew bubbles had troubles dealing with his emotions.</p><p>"Thank you Julian, I better go and deal with my kitty's"</p><p>"Ok bye bud" Julian said, A little relieved because, at that point it was getting harder to hold his emotions in, he looked at Ricky and took a large drink out of his glass, using all of his energy to try not to breakdown. All the fear sadness and things he may never be able to say were swarming around him like a murder of crows getting closer and closer, the next thing he knew he was out</p><p>**</p><p>"Sir wake up, we are going to take Ricky la'fleur into surgery can you please either leave or go to a waiting room?"</p><p>"Can I at least say goodbye before he goes under" </p><p>"He is already on his way to the surgery wing and I'm not really allowed but if we hurry you may be able to talk to him for a minute, you seem like a really dedicated husband"</p><p>"I'm not his hu-" Julian didn't finish cause he wanted a chance of seeing Ricky before his surgery, Julian and the nurse walked fast but were to late.</p><p>"I guess they already took him in so your out of luck, sorry" </p><p>"Ok thanks for trying though" Julian said before walking downtown the buddy hospital halls but he couldn't care if he was in anyone's way, because to him the world had stopped turning, he took a taxi to the trailer park but it was all going slow, once he arrived at the park everyone started asking about Ricky but Julian could care less and was giving dry answers, he watched some movies with bubbles but he was seemingly on auto pilot, he drank quite a significant amount of rum the only thing between him and getting shitfaced was bubbles he was there making sure Julian didn't drink to much or do anything to stupid, this wasn't like Julian at all.</p><p>It was Time to go back to the hospital, Julian got a taxi and arrived at the hospital as he entered visibly drunk and slightly slurring his words the hospital secretary wouldn't let him and he kept on asking about Ricky and they wouldn't give him any answers because he was creating a nuisance The secretary called the cops because it this point Julian was yelling trying to get into the hospital The cops came and told him to leave the hospital and he said he just wanted to know how Ricky was but he was yelling so he was taken into custody and put in the drunk tank for the night, that night may have been the slowest of his life</p><p>**</p><p>The next day when he had sobered up he walked down to the hospital disappointed in himself, he walked up to where he was told Ricky was, he let himself in and there was the nurse he had met the day before "how was the surgery"</p><p>"He is a very lucky man it was a very close call were most people don't make it but he made it out but isn't very stable but he should wake up"</p><p>"Should?"</p><p>"There is always a chance, especially someone in his condition"</p><p>"Fuck" Julian mumbled as the nurse walked out of the room, Julian was frustrated at the people at the park, so far the only people who came to visit were Cory Trevor him in the bubbles and ray, he didn't very much understand how they could just go on with their day as if nothing was happening.</p><p>** 8 days later **</p><p>Nothing has been happening, the days are going by slowly, bubbles and Julian were spending most of their days sitting and waiting for Ricky to wake up although, at this moment bubbles had to go home to feed his cat and go to sleep </p><p>Julian was about to pass out in the room but he couldn't he pulled his chair right up to Ricky's and put his hand over the younger's fore head and ran his fingers through his hair, at that moment Ricky's crystal blue eyes opened "Ricky your awake bud, how r ya feeling"</p><p>"Were in the fuck am I jules" Ricky said confused although this happens many times when he wakes up somewhere and doesn't have a flying fuck of an idea were he is. </p><p>"Your in the hospital, do you remember any-fucking-thing"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3 I guess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I just hope it's readable cause I love trailer park boys and also Ricky is very hard to write 'cause you don't know how much intellect and emotion is to much, he's gotta be Ricky but he also has to be real, if you are thinking of writing a tpd fic than do it, than post it even if you think it's trash because this fandom needs content cause you never know someone might love it</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Your in the hospital, do you remember any-fucking-thing" </p><p>"No Julian I don't why the fuck am I in the hospipal and why are these fucking tuby things in me"</p><p>"So you don't remember getting shot?"</p><p>"If I just got shot why in the fuck am In the hospital"</p><p>"Ricky you just about died you almost got shot in the lungs over a bag over some groceries" Julian said hiding his immense joy with anger.  </p><p>"When was that?" Ricky said still confused after waking up.</p><p>"I don't know I think about ten or so days ago give or take a few" Julian said acting like he wasn't counting the hours, he wasn't very good at acting and he just came off sounding like a complete dick.</p><p>"Can you call me a nurse to get these fucking tubes out of me, I need to go back to the park and smoke a six paper or some shit"<br/>
Ricky said agitated but still foggy.</p><p>"Ya one sec" Julian got the nurse.</p><p>"I see you have woken up. How are you feeling mr.lafleur"</p><p>"Like I need a joint, when can I get out of this place" </p><p>"While your still on breathing aid because your lung tissue is still healing from the high level of trauma it's endured, and you may need some rehabilitation as far as the surgery wound and to monitor your breathing so you could be here a while"</p><p>"Thanks" Julian said to the nurse before she left the room.</p><p>"Am I gonna a be ok Jules she used some big healthy words like lung and stuff"</p><p>"Ya you'll be fine but you'll need to stay here awhile" Julian Said as if he was comforting a child but he was ok with that, taking care of Ricky had become a part of his life that he just accepted and he never could really complain or had never had much to complain about he cared for Ricky in a way nobody else had, Rick had only gotten "serious" with Lucy and she didn't very much except him as he was and always wanted him to change which frustrated Julian and he wished he could give him something better.</p><p>**</p><p>The next day dawned and by then Ricky had started to become his "normal" again At about twelve Ricky woke up but Julian was at this point still asleep. There he was sitting up looking at Julian and he looked at him anxiously for days feeling things he did not want to feel, but what Ricky felt was a sense of comfort and confusion why is he always here fixing my fuck ups, sometimes Evan bubbles gives up on helping me but Julian is always there, he felt a way about Julian that he had never felt about anyone before. "Hey Jules can you help me get something" </p><p>"Ricky, what do you want" Julian blurted out annoyed that Rick woke him up.</p><p>"I'm still having trouble walking can you give me a hand I need to get outside and have a smoke or something"</p><p>"Rick I told you no smoking for a couple of weeks"</p><p>"Well i can't go around sober can I Julian" Ricky said as if it were Julian's life purpose to make sure Ricky was always well and high</p><p>"Ok Ricky, Bubbles is coming down with Trin later I'll de if he can grab some brownies or something"</p><p>"What's with you Julian you seem so mad and fucking grumpier than usual lately what's your deal" </p><p>"I just have a lot of shit going on ok just give me a break" bit the truth was that Julian can't handle confusing emotions very well so he naturally puts his guard up and tries to show no emotions because he is worried people will know everything he has ever tried to hide.</p><p>Later that day bubbles came by "hey Ricky, I would tell you how this scene went but the writer is too fucking lazy to write in other characters right know so you'll just have to use your imagination"</p><p>After bubbles and Trinity left The brownies were kicking in and Ricky had a bit of a buzz-on after he drank some of the rum bubbles snuck in "finally, back to normal" Rick said breaking the science </p><p>"Hey Julian can you do me a huge favour?"</p><p>"What is it"</p><p>"Can you shave my face?"</p><p>"Can't you shave your own your lungs are fucked not your arms"</p><p>"Well I could but you do it better and my legs are a bit fucky since I woke up yesterday"</p><p>"Ok Rick" Julian said notevan bothering with arguments cause he knew he'll give in.</p><p>After shaving Rick Julian grabbed a warm wash cloth and gently wiped off that left over hair and shaving cream Julian locked eyes with Rick and yet again had another moment were silent words were exchanged, Julian (with his free hand) gently rubbed Ricks freshly shaven skin with the palm of his thumb the dragged his hand don't the younger ones face ant down the side of his neck and to his shoulders making Ricky shiver and send chills down his spine "ok I'm finished shaving here check out how it looks" Julian said abruptly </p><p>"Ok thanks love ya bud" Ricky added as he usually did.</p><p>"Yup you to man" Julian said than patted Ricky's shoulder.</p><p>"Hey I need to go for a walk, maybe have a smoke and grab something for lunch see ya later rick"</p><p>"Can I come with I still need a help with walking cause my brain departments are having trouble making my legs move, remember?"</p><p>"Ya sure Ricky do you want to 'hortons for lunch"</p><p>"Well I was thinking KFC"</p><p>"Ok, fine well go to KFC" so Julian's gave Ricky a hand down a couple of roads to get some food 'cause of course Ricky had refused to take a wheelchair.</p><p>** 4 or 5 days later, who's counting**</p><p> </p><p>The last couple of days Julian was taking care of Rick and had to handle a lot of his everyday needs, the nurse offered but with something's Julian had insisted, apparently the coma had fuck up his brain compartments and brain departments so he struggled walking, he could but it was hard, though it's getting easier. "Tomorrow than your out Rick" Julian said, by know he was starting to calm down and loosen up but we was still cautious not to give "signals" which was his fear.</p><p>"Fucking rights"</p><p>"Hey Rick your not doing to good, wanna stay in my trailer for a couple of days."</p><p>"Sure, hey Jules why did you stay with me this whole time?"</p><p>"I don't know cause I had nothing better to do" Julian said try not to seem soft.</p><p>"Wanna go to the China place down the street and grab some egg rolls or something?" </p><p>"Sure Ricky" </p><p>Right before bed. "Fuck I can't wait to get out of this place" Ricky announced to a tired Julian </p><p>"Ya me neither"</p><p>"You don't haves be here Jules"</p><p>"What kind of a friend would that make me" Julian got up and put fast and furious on the tv and pulled a chair up right beside Ricky bed.</p><p>"Hospital movies suck" Julian said half asleep, Ricky sat up so he could did beside Julian and put his arm on Julian's arm rest and soon Julian fell asleep his head falling on Ricky's shoulder just like ricks did weeks before, and like weeks before Ricky pushed his fingers through the dark mess of curls which was Julian's hair.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Get up Ricky the nurse says we're good to go home" Julian said waking Ricky.</p><p>"Fuck ya, finally"</p><p>"How ya feeling bud?"</p><p>"Fucking excited to go back to the park and stuff"</p><p> </p><p>They took a taxi to the park and were let in easily by mr lahey, after entering people began to notice and they were soon hearing "how r ya" and "welcome back" every couple of seconds but all that was on Ricky's mind was smoking a joint, which was still strongly not suggested but you can't stop Ricky from smoking one or two "I just need to get to the trailer and have a couple drinks and some hot knifes, fuck I need a drink" </p><p>"You know you shouldn't smoke Rick"</p><p>"Fuck the doctors they have no idea what they're talking about"</p><p>"Agh fuck, do whatever Rick just looking out for ya bud" Julian says losing yet another argument with Ricky, when you think about it Julian is one of the most stubborn people in the park unless it's Rick he always tries but never succeeds as he tends to try his hardest to avoid conflict between them.</p><p>Later after Rick catches up with the people from the park they decided to have a barbecue, nearing the end Julian and Ricky made their way to the trailer with a little buzz but not quite drunk "thanks man"<br/>Ricky said while he opened the trailer door.</p><p>"For what Ricky"</p><p>"For staying with me through my shit man"</p><p>"Ok?" Julian said confused as he had his hand pushing the door closed while Ricky was in between him and the door, their eyes met once again but this time it was longer, or at least seemed that way the tension in the air was strong and painful as if they were the only thing in the world to exist, like magnets, Julian brings his hand down from the door towards Ricky's messy hair be for swiftly moving it away "I should get to bed now" Julian blurted before walking towards his room.</p><p>" 'night" Ricky said confused and abandon and low key turned and he made his way to the coach carrying his confusion and shock with him and sitting on the coach thinking about it, meanwhile Julian was standing in his room quietly cursing himself and frustrated, in his fit of anger frustration and confusion he barely heard the door open.</p><p>"Ricky what the fuck are you doing here"</p><p>""Fuck it" Ricky said quietly but clear enough to hear before he moved rather quickly up to Julian grabbing him around the waist and kissing him, Julian pulled away "what the fuck man" Ricky looked deep into his eyes bringing the same sensation from earlier that night then Julian put his arm around Ricky's back dropping his barley full rum and coke and then restarting the kiss himself, when they broke apart to take a breath and their eyes met this time it was no longer tension that weight was removed and what was left was a joy that isnt writeable, Rick smirked before pulling back in this time <br/>more passionate and with a growing pace, Julian was timid and frustrated in himself.</p><p>Ricky grabbed Julian's shirt and took it off "what the fuck am I doing" Julian thought before finding Ricky unbuttoning his jeans, which lead to Julian untying ricks track pants but before he could finish Ricky put him on the bed and sunk to his knees </p><p>"fuck me" Julian said under his breath because he was embarrassed he let it go this far.</p><p>Ricky pulled down his jeans then looked up at Julian before then down to notice he was already hard, Rick then wrapped his lips around his friends hard on and began bobbing in and down feeling Julian getting harder in his mouth. He grabbed the base and added his hand then started swirling his tongue around the tip Julian has surprised at how good Ricky was but also ashamed at how much he enjoyed it, but those feelings slowly faded away as Rick started to feel Julian's cock twitch in his mouth as Rick wondered what led him here to this moment.</p><p>Ricky came back up to kissing Jules as Julian began to help Ricky with his track pants an unbutton his shirt, Ricky (who had some practice with girls) spat on his fingers and tried to get Julian ready, Julian surprised that Ricky would assume he was a bottom but didn't want Rick to stop, Rick at this point had three fingers in then he slipped them out and pulled back in for a kiss before moving it to the bed and getting behind Julian.</p><p>Things had gone so fast, all he wanted was to give his friend a place to stay and now he wa- "ready" Rick said but before he could get an answer he already had his tip on the entrance "three two on- fuck" Ricky said "fuck Rick" Julian said in a deeper coarser voice, After a few seconds rick had pulled out before pushing back in hitting the "spot" Julian (who was surprised at how vocal Rick was during sex) let out a loud groan filling the room with skin-on-skin noise along with creaking of the and and Ricky's load moans <br/>"Fu-huck Jules I think I'm gon-" Rick finished in Julian then sat there until he could finish jules who was already almost there so he got back on his knees to finish what he started, which didn't take very long and Ricky, while he swallowed.</p><p>Ricky sat on the bed with Julian in a state of what just happened until Ricky got up to go to the coach.</p><p>"Goodnight" </p><p>"Wait a sec Rick, you can stay here for the night" Julian said hesitantly signalling at his bed.</p><p>"What in the fuck just happened" Ricky said while walking towards the bed.</p><p>"I don't fucking know"</p><p>"Did you enjoy it?" Rick said waiting eagerly for an answer.</p><p>"did you?" Julian asked in return.</p><p>"Well, ya" Ricky said nervously.</p><p>"Well I... Fuck ya, yes I did " Julian said not wanting to here the words coming out of his mouth.</p><p>"Fuck" Ricky said with a bit of a giggle at the end, at this point Ricky was sitting on the bed beside Julian, Julian looked over at Ricky and giggled looking down then putting his hand on Ricks shoulders , he was starring at the bed as the sarcastic smile left his face, then looked over at Ricky, patting his shoulder then letting his hand slowly slide off Ricky's shoulder, Julian was almost in tears, thought he wasn't gonna cry. Ricky looked up at his friend and pulled him in for a "half hug" in which Julian took a while to respond when he finally sat back up trying to keep himself together.</p><p>"I need some sleep" </p><p>"Okay me too" Rick said lying down facing Julian and before he could close his eyes Ricky put his hand on Julian face and moved his up to kiss him ant then once he pulled away Julian moved up to Ricky's face and started making out with him and jules led it until they eventually drifted away and fell asleep.</p>
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